As part of my research for my young adult novel Mind Binder, I talked with dozens of students in our local high school in Lajas, Puerto Rico (See Post #1 here and Post # 2 here). I started out with simple, non-threatening questions like “what’s the last song you listened to from your music library?” (Bad Bunny seemed to be on everybody’s play list) and do you prefer to read in English or Spanish? Once trust was established, I moved onto more challenging questions. These were the ones I had prepared:
- What do you think your parents don’t understand about you?
- Finish the sentence, I most want my girlfriend/boyfriend to understand that …
- Finish the sentence, I most need to feel …
- Finish the sentence, I want the world to know that Puerto Rico is …
- Finish the sentence, I want the world to know that Puerto Rican teens are …
I rarely got through the first question before I would have students pouring out their hearts to me. Here are some of the things they shared:
“Mami and Papi don’t understand me. They focus on how big their problems are and forget about the “little ones I have.”
“They don’t listen. They are always busy with their work, or (in some cases) with their new boyfriend/wife.”
“I need attention.”
“My dad is a stranger.”
“The trust is not there.”
“I feel like I’m going alone through a lot of hard things.”
“Why can’t they just be there for their kids?”
These frustrations often built into larger, more complicated ones like:
“I haven’t talked to my mom since the 10th grade (now being in the 12th grade).”
“I don’t have a home where I feel safe.”
“I was eight when my dad left. I could see it in his eyes. Something was wrong. He was sad.”
“Family is always judging you. They make you feel like you don’t have any value. They criticize and reject you. And then they wonder why you don’t tell them things.”
“My father is an alcoholic. He beats my mom.”
Abandonment. Rejection. Fear. Loneliness. Abuse. The hurt just poured out along with the tears. And then came the heart-wrenching confessions:
“I started cutting.”
“Once I even thought about taking my own life.”
Through me, they found a friendly voice, someone who would listen. As a writer, I can do that, but now what is my responsibility with all this privileged information? That I will have to leave for the next post. Until then, I will leave you with this song by Rascal Flatts. Some call it “The Suicide Song.” It asks the same question I had after talking with some of the students: “Why?”
Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people aged 10-24. Why? Please–I’m talking to you directly–help me to understand. How did your life get so messed up that you thought about ending it? And equally as important, what stopped you? Was it something somebody said or did? What helped you believe that life was still worth living?
Please, share your story. Help me understand. Teen suicide is part of my latest novel-in-progress and I need your help. I want to do more than write about statistics and talk about past tragedies. I want to save lives. Can you help me? There are so many hurting souls out there, desperate to hear that life is still worth the fight.
If you are comfortable with leaving comments here, great. If not, contact me privately at susan.nadathur@gmail.com
You can be an angel of light to someone still living in the dark.
